Parenting is hard work! Part 1

So last week’s post about my 13 year old twins’ behaviour was a very heartfelt post. One that was written when my emotions were still raw. One that I possibly shouldn’t have written until I had calmed down a little. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to take any of it back, I mean every single word that I wrote. I just possibly could have worded things a little differently

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone who commented, it really made me feel so much better. This parenting business is bloody hard work and we all need to back each other up!

So after a week I feel ready to let you all know what we are doing to tackle the problems that arose, I have had to break it down into two parts as it was getting a bit long winded so in this post I’ll cover how we are dealing with:

• Being disruptive in class
• Answering back
• Being cheeky/rude
• Extreme lack of effort

So what have we done to tackle these problems?

Firstly, we talked a lot. Especially to Ff, she seemed completely in denial that she had any issues. Now if it had just been one teacher I could pass it off as a clash of personalities. But it wasn’t, it was every single teacher, although her English teacher really does seem to have it in for her (I may go into this in a future post). I spent a lot of time over the weekend pointing out to her (both of them really) how the way she talks could be deemed as rude. I explained how sometimes just changes in the way she said it, her tone of voice, rather than the words she is using, would make a huge difference. It felt like I was having a go at her all the time, but it was something that needed doing.

Now before I go on let me just get something straight. I don’t want to quash her personality in any way. She has always been a very spirited child, a rebel, always needing to be different to every one else. I’m sure the fact that she is one of twins has exacerbated this issue. They are both sarcastic and being extremely bright their wit is especially sharp. I don’t want to make her feel that she can’t express herself, just that there are occasions that it is inappropriate. She has to relearn how to talk to people with respect, after all this is what we taught them all when they were toddlers!

The next problem we talked about was being disruptive in class and their lack of effort. They are in the top sets for everything and always get good grades in tests and assessments. But their overall grade will also depend on class work and occasionally on how the teacher ‘feels’ each pupil has worked. Obviously the teacher will be less inclined to mark their work high, if their effort and behaviour is questionable. So although their grades have only dropped slightly now, if it isn’t nipped in the bud they could get themselves into real trouble. I think they are starting to understand this, but we are still in the very early days so I’m guessing it could go either way.

I’ll put the next post up tomorrow so you can see how we are attempting to deal with problems like ‘forgetting’ their homework and how they are being punished.

You can read the second part here.

Have you had to deal with badly behaved teens?How would you deal with teens who are acting this way? Let me know below.